Vanya

Sannyas is a ceremony where you choose a symbolic name to guide you on the path as a truth-seeker.
Osho describes a person who has taken sannayas as a sannayasin and continues, "Sannyas is basically a rebellion about all structures, hence the difficulty
to define. Sannyas is a way of living life unstructured. Sannyas is to
have a character which is characterless. By 'characterless' I mean you don't
depend anymore on the past. Character means the past, the way you have lived
in the past, the way you have become habituated to living -- all your habits
and conditionings and beliefs and your experiences -- that's what your
character is. A sannyasin is one who no longer lives in the past or through
the past; who lives in the moment, hence, is unpredictable."

Last Friday, January 29th, there was a beautiful ceremony here at the ashram and I was surrounded by a loving community, great music and a celebration so full of life I thought I would burst!

With this initiation you commit yourself to the path of meditation and the name change is a reminder that we are not fixed to a certain personality or definition of self. I have not changed my name in the government document sense. Instead, I have chosen a name that resonates with something deeper, as a reminder to my self of who I am and what I am longing for. This name is a symbolic gesture and I am not asking you to call me by this symbol.

Within this community and along the spiritual path I have chosen and am connected to the name Prem Vanya Tarangita.

yeah, yeah, it's a mouthful but Vanya (pronounced vawn-ya) is the focal point, the other two are a combination of reminders I need to carry with me. Many women chose the word Prem, meaning "love", in front of their sannyasin identity because whole-hearted love is very much the feminine connection to self.

Vanya means a wild forest and it has many layers of importance and beauty to me, hard to put into words. Tarangita means inspired/zestful/river- a metaphor and an inspiration I love having in my life.

This may seem really confusing and I had doubts about posting this as a blog. You can read more about Sannyas at: http://www.neosannyas.org

I will finish with a few quotes by Osho to further explain the unexplainable:

“Sannyas simply means they have accepted a way of meditation and a life of joy and rejoicing. It is accepting to create your life into a blissfulness."

“The ancient meaning of the word was, one who leaves the world in search of truth. My own meaning is, one who lives in the world and yet goes on searching for truth. Because where can you go? Everywhere is the world."

" ‘…but why should I change my name?’ Why not? The changing of the name simply means you are dropping the whole old personality that was indicated by the old name, that you are beginning afresh with a new name. It is symbolic. You were not born with a name. The name was given by your father, by your mother, by your people. Now you have dropped all conditionings, why not drop the name those conditionings gave to you?"

"An open heart, a loving heart, a deep trust in oneself and nothing else is needed. You don't have to surrender to some master, you don't have to worship some God, and you don't have to do some prayer to some hypothetical deity. You don't have to go to man-made temples and churches to find that which is hidden within you."

Just open.

8 Days

Every day is a whole year of emotions, lessons and encounters...


I spent 8 days in an intensive course here at the Osho ashram and while I cannot put the experience into words, I can share with you some feelings and lessons that I took away from this incredible experience.

DAY 1:
I learned how to cry, with every ounce of my being, in front of others.

DAY 2:
I learned how to really scream! So cathartic.

DAY 3:
I released what I needed to say from the bottom of my heart and I was exhausted from sobbing.
I learned that I have let other people's judgments control how I live my life and its a waste of energy and precious time.

DAY 4:
I learned how to ROAR! (then I lost my voice...)

DAY 5:
I realized this was the hardest, yet most enlivening process of my life! I have never had such bad skin, so much garbage in my body is surfacing and being released.

DAY 6:
Home is inside.
I held hands with a part of me that I hadn't seen in a long time.
I learned that when you feel you have no energy you still have great amounts left!

DAY 7:
I created a beautiful tree and other people where welcome to live there.
CREATE!
I learned how to buzz, how to glow from inside, from a life force so great.

DAY 8:
Things are not what they seem. There are so many layers and this is just the beginning.

Randomness Con't

Wisdom and Rocks

I recently had a huge argument, possibly one of the most frustrating ones I've ever experienced, with a dear friend (we'll call her CM) after a beautiful dinner. There was three of us enjoying a delicious meal and my friend CM and I had proposed a beautiful idea when the plan suddenly backfired.
Humans seem to ride a wave of emotions and being here I've really learned about being present, speaking the truth and being true to ones feelings. CM and I got caught up in our own emotions and needs and together we destroyed a wonderful opportunity. 3 hours of arguing just made us feel more frustrated and I feared our friendship was slipping away. We felt stuck and all three of us parted ways.

I was walking back to my rented room feeling so helpless, angry and lonely. I replayed the nights events in my mind and all I could feel was a deep sadness. Subconsciously I started repeating, "I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be alone." Head down, completely overwhelmed, I continued to march towards the hotel. Suddenly, I heard someone call my name! My stomach dropped, thinking it was one of my two dinner friends back for more interrogation.

Instead it was my friend D (whom I had just finished an intensive group course with at the ashram), who came running up to me to ask me if I was okay. Something switched inside and I acted like all was well, I asked him how his day had been and what he was doing in the street at this late hour. He told me he had befriended a local shop keeper and each night he was coming to the shop at 10 pm to help him close up and then later to have a chat and sometimes dinner with his family! Okay...odd, I thought, but intriguing. I wished him a good evening and continued trudging towards the hotel.

After a few minutes I froze, "what am I doing?!", I screamed in my head. I had just repeated that I didn't want to be alone and a friend appeared out of nowhere to ask me how I was doing and I turned away from the opportunity to be helped, consoled? WTF? So I turned around, ran back and said, "David, I'm not alright, can you sit with me for awhile when you're done closing up the shop?"
He said he would be happy to keep me company. Then, the shop keeper Jahan approached me, asked me to sit down and immediately took my hand, looked into my eyes and said, "I fear there is a storm going on inside you!" He then took me to his back room where all of his crystals and gems were kept and told me to sit down. I was in shock but felt I could trust Jahan because I trusted my friend D with my life and they seemed like dear friends.

Jahan grabbed a pink stone in the shape of a heart and rubbed it with both hands while breathing deeply. Then he told me to hold the stone and breathe deeply while he put his hands on my head. OMG I felt instantly relaxed, like a wave of relief had come over me! He told me to keep the rose quartz heart and then we talked for awhile and he told me, that "life is like a river, sometimes bad water rushes in but it is always washed away clean, always changing, and we must flow with the river, allowing, watching and not letting the dirty water soil us!"

For the next 15 minutes he told me some very great words of wisdom...that I really needed to hear. And when D was finished cleaning up he came and sat with us and Jahan gave me a beautiful hug that literally lifted me up, he told me to keep the heart shaped stone to remind myself that I need self love. He also invited me to dinner with his family for the following evening!
The beginning of the night had been a triangle of disaster and frustration, but I had been blessed with this new amazing triangle of supportive kindness and inner peace.

The dinner was out of this world! Jahan and his family are Kashmiri, they live in a simple home and he has three kids ages 1-12, who all have the same birthday! I had so much fun playing with the little one.
We ate on the ground, with our hands and Jahan said, "why did men invent the fork, look very closely. The fork has 4 prongs, we have 4 fingers, we didn't need to create forks, God gave us natural forks and a thumb to push the food into our mouths!"
We had a lovely evening with the best food I've had since my arrival and great conversation with his wife, D and the rest of the family.
Before I left he asked me to lie on the ground and he did more energy work on my head and belly, this time with D's purple stone (that looks like an eyeball). Again, a wondrous, peaceful wave came over me and I melted into the floor.

I've been visiting with Jahan on my way home every day and he can always read right through me. He's helped me pinpoint some bad patterns I've acquired. His words of wisdom are always exactly what I need to hear and I feel very grateful for our random meeting.

whoa...only in India!

Oh India, how I love you...

Let me count the ways:

1. FAITH AND SPIRITUALITY
Tell someone you don't believe in God. Go on. You'll find yourself arguing so hard to make your case that you could well be accused of having a severe case of faith in no God! In anything they want to believe, which is why practically every faith known is practiced right here in India.

2. FLEXIBILITY
You may set off in the morning expecting to follow a strict schedule of assignments and appointments, but always be flexible and happy to chuck all plans at a moment's notice. Go with the flow!

3. STORIES
The history goes back 5,000 years and so do their epics that contain every emotion, possibility and philosophy that humans have ever managed to come up with.

4. CHAI
Delicious black tea, blended with an array of spices, served with lots of milk and sugar. Drink at least 3 cups a day!

5. BOLLYWOOD
Hips swirl in one direction while the torso twists in another and the shoulders go somewhere else entirely even as the head moves so violently. Excellent weather vanes, only no one would know where the wind was actually coming from!

6. AUTOS
Germany had its cute little Volkswagen Beetle, India has cute little autos (aka three-wheelers) packed with hi-tech music systems and disco lights that would put nightclubs to shame, which trundle up and down roads as their drivers overcharge everyone in sight.

7. HOSPITALITY
When I step into any one's house I am fed, watered and pampered so much, I'd never believe there was a single nasty person in this country.

8. THE NUMBER OF HOLIDAYS
There's a New Year's Day practically every month, not to mention some festival happening on any given day somewhere in the country. More reasons to party!

9. AMAZING DIVERSITY OF FOOD/TASTES
Words cannot explain the blends of spices, herbs and ingredients that go into making each dish a work of art!

10. INDIAN ENGLISH
They have de-Englished the English language and now only speak Indian, and its grand!

11. YOGA
Forget weights and ab crunches- here they may stand on one hand, with one leg wrapped around their heads, experiencing an inner, spiritual glow, because aha! Yoga isn't just a workout for the body, it's also a workout for the mind and soul.

12. MAHATMA GANDHI
One small, frail, old lawyer took on an entire imperial empire! And he did it in such an inspired manner with non-violence and noncooperation- brilliant! Every town seems to have a main street called MG in honour of him.

13. MANGOES
One a day at least! In mango lassi (yogurt drink) form is best, yummmmmmm

14. INDIAN STRETCHABLE TIME
Indian Stretchable Time is in a zone of its own and no one can understand it but Indians.

15. DOMESTIC HELP
Servants: one to cook the food, one to wash the dishes, one to sweep the floor, one to dust, one to wash the clothes, one to clean the toilet, one to make chapattis, one to watch each baby, one to man the gate and run the errands, one driver per car, one to wash the cars, one to cut vegetables, one to massage the baby, one to water the plants!

16. INDIAN RAILWAYS
All I can say is that you will experience all of India on the train! And you can literally go anywhere by train.

17. SCENERY
Here you will find ice deserts in Ladakh and actual deserts in Rajasthan. The Himalaya mountains tower to the north, the Ghats on either side of the peninsula, islands, stunning beaches, the sea, lakes, jungles, incredible wildlife, rivers, waterfalls... glorious!

18. NOTHING IS BEYOND REPAIR
Nothing is ever so broken that it'll never work again and anyone would love to be paid to fix it!

19. SARIS
What's sexy, modest, graceful, classic, cool, hot, well-ventilated,colorful and gorgeous all at the same time? Incredible!

20. RANDOMNESS
So many random things happen to me daily. There will be a blog follow up to explain one such situation that blew my mind! To be con't....

The Osho Experience

"Drop the fear. Fear was taken up by you in your childhood, unconsciously. Now consciously drop it and be mature. Then the life can be a light which goes on deepening as you go on growing.
Know the whole world is nothing when it is compared to knowing your own inner mystery of life.
Don't move the way fear makes you move. Move the way love makes you move. Move the way joy makes you move." -Osho

***

I am currently at the Osho Meditation Center in Pune, India and have decided to stay here for a few weeks. There is an incredible community here and a lot of space, tools and guidance to learn more about myself. Check out the website if you are interested in learning more.

Words will not do this place or experience justice. I have thought long and hard about this blog and have decided I cannot really write about it. I'm going into an 8 day intensive course and will not have internet access. Possibly, if you are interested I can explain more in person, if you are open-minded.

Money has been a struggle for me here as the center is run by and operates on European standards. I feel grateful that I was born in a family and a society where funds are flexible. Right now I ponder how I will stay financially afloat over the next 3 months, but funds always work out one way or another for me.

I've had an incredible Couchsurfing host here in Pune. Ananda has let me stay at his place for the last week and he's been a great guide and friend to me as I explore the Osho experience. He's a practitioner here and on weekends he leads meditation sessions, plays music, practices reflexology and is training in water shiatsu. I'm so grateful for his kindness. I took the picture below in his beautiful garden.

***

"Once you have started seeing the beauty of life, ugliness starts disappearing. If you start looking at life with joy, sadness starts disappearing. You cannot have heaven and hell together, you can have only one. It is your choice." - Osho

Mumbai-Consciousness

Arriving in Mumbai @ 3am, after 22 hours in planes and airports, I felt overwhelmed, happy to have finally arrived. I made my way from the airport to my couchsurfing hosts apartment 20 minutes away. The cab driver didn't know the area well so he stopped several times to ask for directions. Once I settled down for the night I wrote this stream of consciousness piece to document my first half hour in this metropolitan, chaotic city...

heart beats, my whole body is awake and conscious...

ewww, I'm sweating, where's that cab? #3845. wow, there's more backpackers than I imagined! "bye Sarah (from Salt Lake City), I'll tell you all about Osho over email", there seems to be no driving rules! garbage everywhere, don't hit that dog! close. I'm safe, follow the breath. they can't see my face, I'm invisible, people sleeping on the side of the road in perfect rows, this is not an "experience"- this is their reality.
breath, he's asking for directions again? are we lost? don't stop the cab, ok calm, night-a man's world. sleeping in your tuk tuk (three wheeler vehicle): a job and a bed! I'm very awake, it's 3:30 am here and 2pm back home. there's a sign for Inorbit, finally, we are on the right track Sherlock.
i need a phone soon, don't be so thrifty, safety first. i will not get out of this cab until i know i've arrived at my host's home, here's 10 rupees, thank you, how do you say it? shukrian? maybe? where do I go now? there's no #73, ok 7th floor seems to make sense, i'll walk up, eww I'm so sweaty, I have to ditch all these cotton clothes soon and find some light stuff! up and down and up again, i can take off my scarf now, this elevator is cool! heart racing...pushes door bell, this has to be it? hello? Shamiyana?
oh, thank you! how do you pronounce your name? you are so kind, thanks for hosting me at such a strange hour. I feel so stupid, I don't follow politics, am I stereotyping too? she's so sweet, aww she's taking the couch, I feel bad. where is the toilet? does the shower room double as the urinal? when in Rome/Mumbai! breathe. i feel so grateful! stretch out. rest at last. it's only been half an hour. hello India, please be kind!

heart beats, my whole body is relaxed and tired, zzzzzz...

Happy Holidays!

Dear Friends and Family,

Back from a glorious 6 week adventure in California: garlic planting (aka farm therapy), eating the best food in the continent and sharing magical moments with many Undercover Angels and, though I've changed some plans, I'm very glad that I made it home for the holidays. I hope this letter finds you healthy and happy and, while it’s no secret that the holidays can be a particularly challenging and stressful time for many of us, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for being such a positive and delightful soul in my life!

I am thankful for the holiday season as it gives me a chance to pause and feel grateful for all the amazing people in my life, my good fortune, health and abundance of love that fills my heart. As I pack my backpack once more and look towards my upcoming journey to India I feel blessed to have the chance to be home with friends and family for the holidays; a favourite and delicious time of year.

I'm not too keen on shopping and stressing so I've given those up. Instead, I love cooking/eating, hanging out with loved ones and laughing 'till my cheeks hurt! I remember as a child, straining to hear Santa on the rooftop, carefully choosing cookies to leave out for him and I recall the warm fuzzies; the magic of the season as my heart was full of curiosity and awe. Well, now, I don't have to fear the loss of baked goods to jolly old men and I do sleep soundly on Christmas Eve without thumb-sucking, but my heart is still full as I hold that sense of wonder and awe that I find through the music and colours of the season.

We are surrounded by two primary colors at Christmas; red and green. Red has come to represent passion, fire, creativity, and love. Green signifies growth, wealth, fertility, nature, good luck, youth, and hope. As we are greeted with the colors of the season, we are reminded of the complexities of our nature and how each of our lives is a work of art and that we are the artists ultimately charged with creating our own masterpieces.

Aldous Huxley wrote, “After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” The holidays are filled with music and while certain Christmas carols may annoy the hell out of you/me, others can serve to nourish our souls. Music is what feelings sound like!

Everywhere we look during the holiday season there will be both sacred images and superficial symbols. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. I encourage us to screen out as much as possible that brings you no comfort or joy, and focus instead on the magic, mystery, and meaning of the season. mmmm-hmmmm...
I know I'm not one who keeps in touch very well via phone or email... I've embraced the technological age a wee bit more this year and I would like to take this opportunity, however en masse, to reach out and say hello and happy holidays. I'd love it if you wrote back with some of your thoughts and feelings at this time of year. And if anyone is so inclined to share with all my dear friends, please feel free to post your responses on my holiday blog post.

***Please don't feel any pressure to write back or fill in your responses if you're not into it. I don't want to put any stress on your holidays! :)

Please Tell Me About You:

What are the activities that make you really really really happy during the holidays? List out your top 5. This is your list of Holiday Happys. Why do these make you happy and give you a sense of calm?

If you could do anything, there's no restrictions, in 2010 what would it be?!

What has been your biggest challenge this year and how have you overcome it? what did you learn?

What has been something new and exciting you tried recently and how did you feel?

A few things I learned about the holiday history this year that I thought I'd share:

*There are about five million reindeer in the world living in Northern Canada, Lapland, Alaska & Northern Russia.
*Mistletoe is a parasitic plant that grows on oak and other trees. Originally, it dates back as a symbol of peace to both the Druids and Romans. When battling soldiers found themselves under the mistletoe, they immediately laid down their arms and declared peace for the day.
*Santa wears red and white because that's how Coca Cola linked him to their ads dating back to 1931.
*The common abbreviation for Christmas is Xmas, derived from the Greek alphabet. X is letter Chi, which is the first letter of Christ's name in the Greek alphabet.
*The tradition of placing candles in windows during the Christmas season originated in Victorian England where candle lit windows were a sign to passersby that they would be welcomed and offered shelter during the holidays (couchsurfing anyone?!).
*Not only are poinsettias from Mexico, but in Mexico wearing red underwear on New Year's Eve is said to bring new love in the upcoming year...

Check out this humorous, award-winning radio episode from CBC's Age of Persuasion titled Commandeering the Holidays!

Many Blessings,

From:

a bike-ridding, backpacking, dirt-worshiping elf!

(aka Michelle)